Nights like these where I am just chilling in bed, missing him I really crave smoking pot. I know that makes some people uncomfortable, but I did promise myself with this blog to be honest…even when it’s uncomfortable.

I really don’t believe weed is addictive. I just wish I could just get out of my own head and into his arms. Honestly I miss the clam and good feeling when I was high. Being in his arms made me feel so safe and calm. Especially how much this week has been hard, filled with these ups and downs I began to crave those two things like no other.

I know doing this without forming a dependence on those things is what is going to make me stronger. It’s forming a dependence on myself to give me that calm good feeling is what the goal is. I just wish everything can just be smooth sailing for once.