Struggling

What do you do when you feel you can’t amount to anything? When everyone around you has to consistently help you because you do everything wrong. You are scared to load the belt at the grocery store because someone is going to ask ”what are you doing” ”do you know how to load the belt?” ”here let me show you?” When you are jealous of your little sister because of her immense amount of beauty and smarts.

You feel so small when you are around her because you know and understand she is someone who is going to tackle the world. You want to ask her ”how? How do I become you?” ”How do I become as skinny as you?” ”as smart as you?” ”as strong-willed and grounded as you?”

Instead, you sit in your room thinking of ways to just keep moving and wishing life wasn’t so hard. Instead, you sit and cry and feel sorry for yourself because how can I make everyone proud when you have such a huge role model in your life who is impossible to live up to. What do you do with this hurt?

2 thoughts on “Struggling

  1. V says:

    I can’t tell you what to do with this hurt because I’ve yet to figure it out myself. What I can tell you is that I understand you, I am there, and you’re not alone in this. I’m not sure that’ll provide you any solace, but just know you’re not alone.

    Like

    • I truly appreciate your feedback. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who goes through things like this. It’s so hard because I am so proud of my sister. On the other hand, the hurt or I would say jealousy of her gracefulness and effortless shewas moving through her life eats at me. I also hope that this post has brought some sort of comfort knowing you are also not alone.

      Liked by 1 person

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