Today was a fresh relaxing day. I woke up maintaining the same motivation from yesterday. I felt it…today is going to be MY day! I’m letting go of all stressors and moving on with this journey to restore my sense of self. Then it happened I got a call from my ex. Was the temptation to answer the phone there…tremendously!
We haven’t spoken on the phone since the day of my accident. I’m just not in the right mindset to answer his calls right now. I know I have to be stable and confident within myself before I can have a conversation with him. In order to do that I have to separate my wants from my needs.
I know he is aiming to see if he’s blocked or see how I am. The frustrating part about him calling is the perception of my desire to be independent is not being honored and or respected for that matter. Further or do, the frustrating part about him calling to check up on me is it sets me back. I’m left with this lingering sad vibe, that is hard to shake. I become snappy and more on edge. I have to fight this feeling before it takes over me.
I begin to feel more motivated to discover who I am, then I see his name show up on my phone and here I am thinking about him all over again! It weird… it’s as he knows im letting go.