Fake It Until You Make It

You probably have heard the saying “Fake it until you make it”. If you haven’t it pretty much means to fake happy until you are. Some may say this method works especially if you are dealing with a breakup. I have found that this method is a quick picker-upper, but it doesn’t solve anything.

I have tried to fake happy through multiple aspects of this breakup. When I would hear a song on my phone that takes me back to him and I just driving around singing along to the tune, instead of instantly hitting the next button I would take time to enjoy that memory. Now that doesn’t seem like faking it, more like embracing the moment sorta speak.

The faking it would come to play when I lied to myself saying it’s okay to listen to the song that holds an endless amount of memories what harm could come out of it? At that moment I felt happy…..truly. It wasn’t until the song had ended I began to feel myself become instantly sad. Filling myself with questions of “How can one song hold so much value?”

This experience I have learned that the faking it caused me to forget what was happening at the moment, but didn’t give me the solution of dealing with such heartache….if that makes any sense. Allowing myself to enjoy that memory opened my eyes to accepting some joy into my life, but how can I get over the hurt of us being apart?

I realized (after becoming annoyed with my own thoughts and questions) that I loved this band before we started dating. This wasn’t a song that magically appeared in the relationship, this was a song that was commonly loved by both of us. The shared interest in this band brought us closer together…of course it did, but I began to discover it wasn’t the relationship that introduced me to this band. It was my upbringing from my dad that I loved this band.

This realization set me free. I thought I am NOT going to allow this breakup to take away my love of music. When looking back I am thankful for allowing myself to listen to songs I fell in love with long ago.

It wasn’t the faking part that brought me happiness….it was the pushing myself to do the hard things. Such as listening to music that holds good memories of the relationship, embracing this discovery of myself and finding old pieces of who I am. As a conclusion I think that faking it until you are happy gives you a chance to “enjoy” moments in your life, just remember when you are faking something you are not discovering/showing your true identity.

“See the worst thing about doing this
Doing something like this
Is I think that at first people sort of are a bit suspicious
‘You know, come on, what are you up to?”~Day In The Life

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